An American Idol goes to 'American Idol': the strange case of Steven Tyler

One of the big stories in the news right now is how Steve Tyler has supposedly 'sold out' and joined the panel of judges on the hit TV show American Idol. Kid Rock has said that it's a shame that an institution of Rock n' Roll has signed on to do something that is completely contrary to the spirit of what real Rock n' Roll is meant to be. And what is the spirit of Rock n' Roll supposed to be? First and foremost, for goodness sake, don't write songs purely for the sake of getting a record contract. It's got to be about the music first. You jam and the perks just come along. Have you ever wondered why many bands that put out sophomore albums sound uninspired, manufactured, tailored to suit a demographic, insincere, overly conscious, as if the blessed muse bade farewell? Well, that reality presupposes my point about this spirit of Rock n' Roll. The freshman album is a boiling, simmering cauldron of passions and emotions, surging out as relentless as Niagara. Song after song bursts out until they can say with Nietzsche: I am not a man; I am dynamite.

They don't care two twits about any record label or contract; all they want to do is rock! And it goes without saying that when this happens, the music touches something real and meaningful. Remember when you first heard 'Dream On'? It sounds like it came from the cauldron, right? Rumor has it the lyrics and notes were written in a matter of minutes. It's the same with Sweet Child O' Mine. Every once in a while the muse will return, but chances are it won't predominate over the whole album. When it does you know your ears have been graced by a great band.

But back to Tyler. Does he have the right to be a judge on American Idol and still get a free pass for retaining all his rock authenticity? The band doesn't think so. The history of Aerosmith has all the trappings of a rocky marriage. They've cheated on each other, forgiven one another, gotten remarried, separated, taken breaks, and tussled countless times. But for 40 years they've gone on strong. This time, though, the band is drawing a pretty clear line: doing this means shedding away the 40 year old monument that's been erected in the name of that spirit of Rock n' Roll. Take a look at what American Idol promotes. Millions of musically illiterate voters choose their favorite singer, not because of any inherent musical capability, but how well their image performs as a glorified karaoke king or queen. The only accidental plus is a gifted voice that can stay on a note because of their ear for a tune. But give me the most spectacular voice you can imagine singing a song that isn't there's, and I take Mick Jagger's voice in Beast of Burden any day of the week. What is promoted isn't craftsmanship; it specializes in appealing to formula. Brainstorming, the establishment reasons: if we take this image, write these kinds of songs, and mix it in with this voice, we can appeal to this fan base. It's like they construct some sort of parabola that is an equation for maximizing industry profits.

What was going through Robert Plant's head when he first pranced himself on stage and belted out those thunderous tunes? Was it the bottom line? Or was it because of his unflinching love for the blues? It seems to me that Tyler is joining an organization that cheapens the very spirit he had a hand in coaxing. It would be like Hitler holding a beauty pageant for Jewish bombshells and all proceeds go toward the gradual dismantling of a regime of which he was the brainchild. A part of me wants to come to his defense by saying he has a right to do what he wants. He brings to the table a wealth of wisdom to help kick start the careers of aspiring artists. But that's just it. American Idol doesn't promote the creation of artists; it promotes the creation of good singers who sing songs they never wrote for sponsors who care about little else than the dollar, and for audiences who are obliviously being manipulated to buy a CD that is sounding the death knell for the spirit of good music.

Maybe I'm making too big of a deal about this. Maybe it's supposed to be just a show we're supposed to just sit down and be entertained by the first half of psycho singers, and the last half of people who have good voices who sing songs that aren't there's. But the annoying thing about all of this is that the winner, and even the runner-ups, make a record that soars to the tops of the charts. It goes multiplatinum. Bad music gets a pedestal like some odd episode of the Twilight Zone that everyone thinks is normal. And yet: Steven Tyler chose to be a judge on the show. Why, one wonders?